So How Do You Get Wisdom, Anyways?

Two ways for getting wisdom from Proverbs

So how do you get wisdom, anyways?

As a follow up from my last post, I wanted to give two ways (that are by no means exhaustive) in which Scripture encourages us to at least begin this pursuit for one of the most valuable Christian virtues.

The Home

I had mentioned in a Substack comment that it is no surprise that a lot of Proverbs is taught through the dialogue of a father to a son. In Proverbs 6:20-26, (which I had written on before) much of the warnings against the adulterous woman are passed on with this precursor:

²⁰ My son, keep your father's commandment,
and forsake not your mother's teaching.
²¹ Bind them on your heart always;
tie them around your neck.
²² When you walk, they will lead you;
when you lie down, they will watch over you;
and when you awake, they will talk with you.
Proverbs 6:20-22

While Proverbs often uses a more general term for wisdom, here we see two specific terms: a “command” and a “teaching.” The word for command is miswah, and the word for teaching is torah, often used for God’s law.

Therefore, what has confused some scholars is this imperative to obey the “father’s-God’s law”. One might ask: when the son is told to keep his father’s torah, is this simply parental advice? Or is it the law of God being communicated through the parents? Are we meant to keep God’s law—or our parents’ instruction?

The answer, in a sense, is both.

On one hand, faithful parents are meant to pass down instruction shaped by the Word of God. Their guidance is meant to reflect the wisdom of Scripture. But on the other hand, Proverbs assumes something very ordinary, which is that parents are actively involved in shaping the lives of their children.

Scripture may tell us, “You shall not commit adultery.” But it is often within the family that this wisdom is applied more specifically—through boundaries, rules, and oversight. Limits on media. No sleepovers at friends’ houses. Decisions about where to go, what to watch, and who not to be alone with.

While you won’t find curfews explicitly laid out in Scripture, the point is that the family is a central hub wherein wisdom is dispensed, and therefore we should receive our parents’ instructions with a sense of gravity.

Normally this is the part where someone would ask: But what if your parents dropped the ball? What if you’re the exception? A messy divorce, a broken family?

The first step is to acknowledge that the exception never invalidates the norm. There has always been statistical correlation between a child’s behavior and their upbringing, with effects that last into their adulthood. Anecdotally, in my many years of working with young men, I have found that those without father figures are more likely to pursue promiscuity while delaying commitment and stability until much later in life.

But fortunately for those exceptions, we see in Scripture that wisdom is passed down in ways that even transcend the nuclear family.

Christ does not leave the orphan unattended to, and perhaps such is the spirit of adoption, that even the fatherless become sons of God who are able to learn under the tutelage of those who came before them. Barnabas to Paul. Paul to Timothy. Mentor to mentees, and spiritual fathers to their children in the Gospel. This, of course, points to the eternal reality that our heavenly Father blesses those within His spiritual home.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” - Romans 8:15

“For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.” 1 Corinthians 4:15

The Heart

Returning to Proverbs, we are reminded of a second way in which the believer attains wisdom.

“The beginning of wisdom is this: get wisdom.”
- Proverbs 4:7

What initially some might read as the most unhelpful verse in the book is actually the bedrock principle that if neglected, renders the home ineffective.

The truth is not that wisdom is nowhere to be found—as we see that it is plentiful in the home and even in the church—but rather that wisdom begins with a heart for it. In fact, it is wise to want wisdom.

In Proverbs 1:4–5, two groups are addressed: “the simple and the youth,” and “the wise and the one who understands.” On one hand, there is the simple youth. On the other, the understanding and the wise.

The word for simple carries the sense of someone lacking experience. Naive, inexperienced, or immature. It is not necessarily negative. Proverbs uses other terms when it wants to describe someone hardened in foolishness. Here, the picture is closer to someone who is uninformed, especially when paired with the word youth.

That distinction matters, because verse 4 speaks of prudence being given to them. This reflects the natural course of history, when older men, parents, or teachers would give and impart instruction to the youth. The youth would then receive it with humility and reverence.

Sadly, this is something our age has begun to lose.

With the rise of technology, information is everywhere. Answers are always within immediate reach. Because of that, we now believe that we can outthink or outgrow those who came before us. In our naivety, we assume that a quick Google search can prove experience no longer matters.

Instead of sitting under instruction, there is a growing instinct to reverse the roles and to assume that what is older must be outdated. We have a generation that is increasingly comfortable with telling its parents, elders, and traditions that their wisdom is no longer relevant.

But Proverbs assumes the opposite posture. Wisdom begins with the humility to receive. The simple become wise not by proving themselves right, but by placing themselves under instruction, displaying a heart of appreciation and hanging on every bit of knowledge they can get.

And in case anyone believes they are exempt, the very next verse says:

“Let the wise hear and increase in learning,
and the one who understands obtain guidance.”
- Proverbs 1:5

Even though the verse now addresses the “wise” group, the exhortation is that they would still “hear and increase in learning.” This proves that hungering for wisdom is not a stage you can graduate from, but it is a heart that you must maintain.

The wise are not those who no longer need instruction. They are the ones who keep seeking it.